Reflection

It is hard not to get caught up how many pounds I have left to lose (7 for sure, then a re-evaluation to see how I feel). It is so easy to get frustrated by the fact that I am the same weight now, as I was in August. (That is 6 months without movement, mind you. Besides for gaining and re-losing 10 lbs between September and December). I hate looking at myself in the mirror only to be greeted by a forever-bloated midsection, coupled with some sagging skin on my lower stomach.

So I have to try and remind myself about what is important. I might have a bit of weight left to lose, and I might be completely and totally stuck. And no, my stomach is not a pleasant sight to see (YIKES). But I have put 85 lbs behind me. Better yet, I have become active and healthy. Regardless of the number on the scale - I can work out hard. I do Zumba regularly (thanks for introducing me, Danika!). I can run a half marathon and do a 5k in 27:25. And I've even become a different person in general - doing things and trying things I never would have done or tried before, simply because of my low confidence level.  THOSE are the things I should try to focus on. Why do I (and a lot of people) just focus on the negative? Why is it so hard to celebrate what we've done already or how far we have come? I don't know, but it is. I (and we) should try harder to work on that. We are amazing, whether we are 400 lbs or 100. Whether we are weight-loss success stories or starting the journey. Whether we have failed once before or 1000 times before. We are amazing!!! We have to start remembering that, because I have a feeling it would help us go farther than we even know we can go. It's all about believing in yourself.

The progression of my Fluffy blog.

I was just thinking, how different my blog is today than it was when I first started it in January 2011. Back then, I was nervous and scared. I weighed 227 lbs and wore a size 22...and although I wanted to change, deep down I wasn't sure it was possible. My initial goal weight was 150, which sounded like a ridiculous and lofty goal. My posts were (understandably) concentrated on the progress I was making (or sometimes, the lack of progress). I never imagined that I would become FIT on top of "average weight". Oh, and I was embarrassed. Yes, I took the step to start a blog and share it with friends, but it took a long time to fess up to my starting weight. I also wasn't interested in sharing beyond my social circle on Facebook.

Now, I am excited and confident. Active and healthy. I've been down to a low of 142 lbs, and had some ups and downs putting me at a current 149 (as of 2 days ago) and now back on track to get to goal (135). I wear a solid size 8, occasionally a 6. I continue to be determined and motivated to see this through to the end and beyond. I am fit - I can run a half marathon! My posts are more varied...going over my progress but also issues I have found important along my journey. I am thinking more and more long term rather than purely the present. I know my goals are never impossible, if I put my mind to it, and so I don't worry as much about what I am right now - instead, I look forward to what I will be. I am not ashamed to tell my beginning weight or size, because it's part of who I am and how far I've come. I love sharing and inspiring and motivating other people. I get a lot of positive feedback and I actively promote my blog and EOTF Facebook page, in hopes of reaching more people like myself. People who are starting out miserable, scared, nervous, and doubtful. 

So while this started out as a tool to help me stay accountable and reach a seemingly impossible goal...it has turned into much more. It has developed into a passion! Plus, how cool is it that my life has changed so completely, and in this blog, I have a detailed record of that whole transition!

To anybody else who wants to start their own journey, or who is in the middle of it - I highly recommend trying a blog. Even if you only share it with a few close friends or family members at first. It truly can be a wonderful tool in your path to success.

And if you already have a blog - please comment below and share it. I love to read the blogs of others in the same boat as myself. I may love to inspire and motivate, but I certainly love to BE inspired and motivated, as well.